Riding a motorcycle as a couple is life changing.
It can do more for your relationship than the most gifted marriage therapist ever could.
Of course, I would say that. I’m a lifelong happy pillion passenger. Pat has to lever me off the seat with a crowbar when we get to the end of a ride.
But not all women feel this way.
Some would rather spend quality time cleaning the cat’s litter tray than go riding with you.
Why is that?
There are two main causes of female resistance to riding a motorcycle.
- Some women have genuine (usually complicated) reasons for not wanting to climb aboard.
That’s a squirming can-of-worms topic I’ll talk about in a future post.
(If you need urgent help, though, you can get a free copy of Sick of Riding Solo? in the sidebar of Pillioness.com. It talks about the 5 most common obstacles women have to riding – and how to get around them.)
- Maybe you’re just going about this the wrong way.
Maybe, just maybe, you need to refine the way you bring up this potentially tricky subject.
Because there’s a right way and a wrong way to entice your loved one onto the back seat of your bike.
The right way involves choosing your moment, checking the weather, and offering to cruise through the sunshine to her favorite café in the countryside for lunch.
The wrong way involves raising sarcasm to an art form.
If you vent your frustration in a series of angry outbursts, she’ll be more likely to rip off her wedding ring than pull on her riding gear.
So here’s what NOT to do if you want some company on your motorcycle rides…
The 10 Worst Ways to Invite a Woman to Come Motorcycle Riding
- Lie to her
If you say: We’ll go really slowly, don’t worry (heh, heh)…
She’ll be thinking: Uh huh. Last time you took me riding, we roared out of the driveway on the back wheel. Forgive me if I’m not in the market for another heart attack.
- Threaten her
If you say: Look, I’m so sick of begging you to come on motorcycle rides! This is the last time I ever ask you to go riding with me…
She’ll be thinking: Awesome. Stop asking already.
- Casually dismiss her fears
If you say: I’ve been riding for years and it doesn’t scare me. What’s wrong with you?
She’ll be thinking: Good question. There’s nothing wrong with me. In fact, I can probably do better…
- Confirm you don’t care whether she’s comfortable
If you say: Yep, that tiny strip of plastic is a standard pillion seat. No-one else has ever complained…
She’ll be thinking: Hmm. Was that because they all left before you could have this conversation?
- Throw out a back-handed compliment
If you say: Why don’t you try on those riding jeans I got for you years ago? You may still be able to get into them!
She’ll be thinking: Are you calling me fat?
- Insult and reassure her at the same time
If you say: Of course you won’t fall off, don’t be stupid!
She’ll be thinking: I’m not stupid, thanks. I’m scared. That’s not the same thing.
- Encourage paranoia
If you say: Look, you’ll be fine, alright?! Why are you always worrying?
She’ll be thinking: Oh, so I’m completely neurotic, then? Great, I feel better now.
- Get all dramatic
If you say: We never do anything fun together!
She’ll be thinking: You know, you’re right! Maybe this relationship has run its course…
- Crank up the sarcasm
If you say: How can you say riding is boring? Should I just get a TV installed in the back of my jacket to keep you entertained?
She’ll be thinking: Sarcasm really makes me love you more.
- Curse womankind in general
If you say: What is it with goddamn women and bikes???
She’ll be thinking: Right, I’m off to go shoe shopping and get my nails done, then. Enjoy your ride.
Oh, and you’re cooking dinner tonight – if I haven’t changed the locks by the time you get back. With my pink screwdriver.
When you see these less-than-inspiring approaches written down, you can probably see why they won’t get you very far.
A gentler approach – one that doesn’t include built-in personal criticisms – is much more likely to be successful.
So use a bit of charm next time you invite your other half to come motorcycle riding.
The Head of Kitty Litter Cleaning is now a little busy riding a motorcycle through the sunshine with you!
Photo credits: gemphotography, Anna_Omelchenko & Creatista @ Canstockphoto.com