Dating a biker demands a few special skills.
I should know.
I’m 25 years into an awesome relationship with my furry motorcycling soul mate.
Motorcycles are massively important to Pat.
I spotted this very early on, and rather than resist it, I embraced it.
Having ridden with him for more than a quarter of a million kilometres now, bikes have become one of my passions, too.
Our shared interest in bikes is not the only reason we still get on so well, but it definitely doesn’t hurt!
If you want to live happily ever after with the biker of your choice, there are several things you can do to increase your odds…
Here are my insider tips for successful (long-term!) biker dating.
Dating Advice for the Woman Who Loves a Biker
1. Understand that a motorcycle is not a mistress
Yep, your man spends a lot of time out there in the garage with his motorcycle.
He strokes her lovingly. He even buys her expensive gifts.
But a bike is not a rival. He’s not cheating on you.
• Resent the time and money that flow towards the bike, or
• Simply accept that he’s passionate about motorcycles. It has nothing to do with you.
Here’s what I do: When I haven’t seen Pat for a while, I go out to the garage and say, Hey, I miss you! Give me some attention!
He laughs, and we go for a ride.
2. Visit the garage occasionally
I used to think the garage was no place for me.
It’s boring and dirty, right?
Not to bikers. They love it out there!
So, if you’re dating a biker, pop into the garage every now and then.
You don’t have to spend a whole Saturday afternoon.
But the occasional visit says you don’t resent him doing bike stuff.
Here’s what I do: I open a couple of cold beers, and take them out to the garage.
We drink the beer, I go back in the house, and Pat gets his man cave back.
3. Never tidy up his garage
Never, ever, ever.
Unless you want the relationship to end (right now) with a lot of shouting.
What looks like utter chaos to you is designed that way by him.
There are spanners on the floor for a reason.
That pile of dirty rags serves a purpose.
Here’s what I do: Just find an empty spot on the work bench. Put the beers down there.
4. Take an interest in the bike
I’m possibly the least mechanical person in the world.
I don’t know how all the millions of moving parts work on a bike.
And I freely admit that I don’t care.
But Pat does.
So it won’t kill me to take a bit of an interest.
I’ll never be fascinated by the mechanics of motorcycles, let’s face it.
But I do know a few of the basics.
That can be helpful for him, and it’s a change of scene for me.
Here’s what I do: Hand Pat a screwdriver, and offer an extra pair of hands when he’s fitting a new part to the bike.
5. Accept there will be bike runoff in the house
If you’re dating a biker, you’ve chosen a man with an obsession.
Of course he can’t confine his epic motorcycle passion to the garage.
And so inevitably, bike parts will sometimes show up in the house.
The way to deal with this is to embrace it, and establish what’s reasonable.
We don’t put bike parts in the dishwasher, for example.
Here’s what I do: I happily wash our touring bike’s windscreen in the shower.
I have no problem with polishing chrome bits on the dining room table.
On some newspaper, of course.
6. Invite the bike into the house now and then
Occasionally, especially in winter when it’s cold out in the garage, I suggest we bring a bike into the house.
We eat breakfast next to it for a couple of days, and then it goes back outside.
This is biker dating gold.
It delights Pat, fascinates the cats, and makes passing neighbours laugh and shake their heads.
Where’s the harm in that?
Here’s what I do: Put down a tarp to protect the carpet, and enjoy having a beautiful metal sculpture in my house.
7. Go riding together!
This is easily the smartest thing you can do if you’re dating a biker.
Shared adventures on two wheels are better than any kind of relationship therapy.
Here’s what I do: Pull on my jacket, pick up my helmet, and stand by the back door looking hopeful.
So there you have it: some real-world biker dating advice that I’ve rigorously tested in the field.
It works for me.
I hope it works for you, too.