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Biker Dating Advice 101

Dating a biker demands a few special skills.

I should know.
I’m DECADES into an awesome relationship with my furry motorcycling soul mate, Pat.

Pat’s been riding for 50 years.
Motorcycles are a huge deal for him.
I spotted this very early on, and rather than resist it, I embraced it.
Having ridden with him for more than a quarter of a million kilometres now, bikes have become one of my passions, too.

Our shared interest in motorcycles is not the only reason we still get on so well, but it definitely doesn’t hurt!

If you want to live happily ever after with the biker of your choice, there are several things you can do to increase your odds…

Here are my insider tips for successful (long-term!) biker dating.

Biker Dating Advice: 7 Insider Tips

Try these simple approaches to a healthy motorcycling relationship.

1.  Understand that a motorcycle is not a mistress

Yep, your man spends a lot of time out there in the garage with his motorcycle.
He strokes her lovingly. He even buys her expensive gifts.

But a bike is not a rival.
He’s not cheating on you.

 

a motorcycle is not a mistress

So you have 2 choices here:

• Resent the time and money that flow towards the bike, or
• Simply accept that he’s passionate about motorcycles. It has nothing to do with you.

Here’s what I do: When I haven’t seen Pat for a while, I go out to the garage and say, Hey, I miss you! Give me some attention!

He laughs, and we go for a ride.

2. Visit the garage occasionally

I used to think the garage was no place for me.
It’s boring and dirty, right?

Not to bikers.
They love it out there!
So, if you’re dating a biker, go out to the garage every now and then.

 

visit the motorcycle garage

 

You don’t have to spend a whole Saturday afternoon.
But the occasional visit says you don’t resent him doing bike stuff.

Here’s what I do: I open a couple of cold beers, and take them out to the garage.
We drink the beer, I go back in the house, and Pat gets his man cave back.

3. Never tidy up his garage

Never, ever, ever.
Unless you want the relationship to end (right now) with a lot of shouting.

What looks like utter chaos to you is designed that way by him.
There are spanners on the floor for a reason.
That pile of dirty rags serves a purpose.

You don’t have to understand garage interior design.
And you definitely don’t have to clean it up!

 

leave the motorcycle garage messy

 

Here’s what I do: Just find an empty spot on the work bench.
Put the beers down there.

4. Take an interest in the bike

I’m possibly the least mechanical person in the world.
I don’t know how all the millions of moving parts work on a bike.
And I freely admit that I don’t care.

But Pat does.
So it won’t kill me to take a bit of an interest.

I’ll never be fascinated by the mechanics of motorcycles, let’s face it.

 

motorcycle mechanics can get boring

 

But I do know a few of the basics.
That can be helpful for him, and it’s a change of scene for me.

Here’s what I do: Hand Pat a screwdriver, and offer an extra pair of hands when he’s fitting a new part to the bike.

5. Accept there will be evidence of motorcycles in the house

If you’re dating a biker, you’ve chosen a man with an obsession.
Of course he can’t confine his epic motorcycle passion to the garage.
And so inevitably, bike parts will sometimes show up in the house.

The way to deal with this is to embrace it, and establish what’s reasonable.
We don’t put bike parts in the dishwasher, for example.

But piles of riding gear by the back door is normal.

 

evidence of motorcycles in the house

 

Here’s what I do: I happily wash our touring bike’s windscreen in the shower.
I have no problem with polishing chrome bits on the dining room table.
On some newspaper, of course.

6. Invite the bike into the house now and then

Occasionally, especially in winter when it’s cold out in the garage, I suggest we bring a bike into the house.
We eat breakfast next to it for a couple of days, and then it goes back outside.

This is biker dating gold.

 

bring the motorcycle in the house

 

It delights Pat, fascinates the cats, and makes passing neighbours laugh and shake their heads.

Where’s the harm in that?

Here’s what I do: Put down a tarp to protect the carpet, and enjoy having a beautiful metal sculpture in my house.

7. Go riding together!

This is easily the smartest thing you can do if you’re dating a biker.
Shared adventures on two wheels are better than any kind of relationship therapy.

Here’s what I do: Pull on my jacket, pick up my helmet, and stand by the back door looking hopeful.

So there you have it: some real-world biker dating advice that I’ve rigorously tested in the field.

It works for me.
I hope it works for you, too.

 


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16 comments

    Great advice, I handled things the same way. In the end I embraced the biker life more than he did.

      Sounds like we’re on the same page, Maria! No point in fighting it 😉

    Nailed it! Sending to my wife and she may add some. Olor to this detailed list!!

      Thanks, Joe! Glad it ‘spoke’ to you – and hope your wife enjoys it too 🙂

    Hi Liz,

    I was doing bike research for a book I’m writing. That is how I landed on your page. I love your article. I will keep clicking around. I was wondering if you had an article on how to get the biker to begin with? I have been passionately attracted to the life for many years and seem to land men who don’t and won’t ride. There is no fun in that. Send your over 40 man friends my way. JK sortof

      Thanks, Nikki! Your book sounds interesting, and how to find a biker is a great idea for a new article. I’ll have a think about that topic. Before all this Covid-19 horror, I would’ve said it would be easy to meet bikers at some of the many events that go on – bike shows, rallies etc., where there are genuine nice guys galore who happen to be into bikes. But there might still be events in your area that are safely managed and have potential. Lots of bikers I know have ex-wives who were suspicious/scared of bikes, so your attitude will be a welcome change, I’m sure! xo

    Wonderful, insightful and right on the money! I’ve had relationships literally dissolve because my gal was not into riding together and/or was jealous of the bike. This is solid advice and if I am so lucky to find a new love then she will read this brilliant piece hehe.

    Warm regards from Spain

    Pat

      Thanks, Pat! I’ve seen it so many times, yes. Such a shame, because a shared adventure is twice the fun! We have a Triumph Thruxton in the living room at the moment because the man needs a bigger shed! Your website looks great, by the way! 🙂

    No 3 is golden rule rarely people understand.
    The article was nice to read. Take care and keep rocking (read riding)

      Thanks, Shahriar! Glad you enjoyed it. Yes, there are some boundaries in the garage that should never be crossed! 😉

    Hey Liz,
    So I have a friend that is a biker, When he comes over to hang out for a while he usually takes off some of his riding gear, and leave it by the back door (I have no problem with it. However my cat likes to lay on it and he’s a big shedder.) His girlfriend always gets mad when he comes home becauseof the cat hair. (we’re not really friends we get along civil for him.) He never had a problem with the cat hair he said it makes him happy because my cat chaos also loves his bike he likes to lay on the seat when he goes outside and Damon always laughs and takes pictures of him. My question was do most bikers mind the pet fur or is it a big no go?

      Hi Jeannette, haha, trust cats to stir up some drama! We have our own little tribe of biker cats here, so there’s cat fur everywhere. A lot of my biker friends love cats (and some love dogs as well). I can only think of one who absolutely hates them. In my experience it’s pretty common for bikers to be animal lovers too. Maybe because they’re often furry themselves… 😉

    Great article, I just stumbled upon this. I’m going to read more of your stuff. I’m a biker and your points are spot on. Keep up the good work!

      Thanks, Birdman! Lovely to have you as part of the community. 🙂

    To the person wanting to find a biker boyfriend:. Get a bike of your own, post pics as part of your dating profile. They will find you.

      True, Mel! That could definitely work too!

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