Have you seen those hilarious biker gnomes?
A friend asked me this just the other day.
What biker gnomes? I said.
I didn’t even know biker gnomes were a thing.
Of course, I’ve seen your standard funny garden gnomes around.
In fact, we already have one at our place.
Or at least we did.
I haven’t seen him for a while.
Maybe he’s been gnome-napped.
Or he’s started a new life off the grid, in the high wild grass under the hedge.
I couldn’t really say.
But if our lawn gnome has gone rogue, he’d better shape up.
He’s about to get some company…
The biker gnomes are riding into town, and we’ll be inviting some to stay.
Here’s why you might need one, too.
7 Reasons You May Need A Biker Gnome
1. Biker gnomes are a fun way to annoy the neighbours
Here we have a pretty dodgy looking biker gnome couple.
These guys would look fantastic placed just where the posh neighbours can see them as they come home after another hectic day in the corporate business world.
As if it’s not enough that we have dirty, noisy motorcycles.
Now we have a miniature version of Pat and me, grinning at them from the garden.
2. Biker gnomes can help in the garden
I don’t know about you, but when the sun’s out, the call of the motorcycle is almost impossible to ignore.
But sometimes you just can’t put off clearing the back garden any longer.
You know that if you go for a ride yet again instead of doing the weeding, the house will have disappeared in the undergrowth by the time you get home.
Enter your new gardening coach.
Now while you’re forcing yourself to do garden chores, you can lock eyes with a biker gnome who feels your pain.
You can do it! He seems to say.
Just 10 more minutes and you can get your overalls off, and put your riding gear on.
If you’re an animal lover like me, you might feel a little twinge of guilt as you roar off on the bike and leave the poor abandoned pussycats sitting in a depressed row at the back door.
But now you have a cat-sitter to fill in for you while you get some much-needed motorcycle therapy under your leather belt.
And because this is a biker gnome COUPLE, the cats might even be fooled into thinking that we never left at all…
4. Biker gnomes help guard your bike
Why fork out for expensive alarm systems when you can get personal security detail like this for a fraction of the price?
If his oddly hairless chest and highly manicured beard don’t stop the bike thief in his tracks, you could always throw him at the bike-thieving scum!
But that’s a last resort.
I’m thinking most bike thieves will take to the hills when confronted with a bike security guard like this one.
5. Biker gnomes can live in the garage, not just the garden
Everyone knows that motorcycles get lonely out in the garage.
That’s one of the reasons we bring a motorcycle into the house on a regular basis.
But now your motorcycle can have a bike-friendly little buddy out there to keep her company.
A funny garden gnome doesn’t take up much space. He’ll never nag you to clean up your garage.
And look closely at this guy.
He seems to have a beer in each hand.
That’s a useful reminder that you probably deserve one yourself…
6. Biker gnomes don’t have to be male
A female biker gnome is a clear shout-out to all the women who ride.
Clearly, biker chicks come in gnome form, too.
So if you adopt this biker gnome, you’re doing more than adding a touch of feminine charm to your garden.
You’re also doing your part for gender equality.
7. Biker gnomes are an unusual motorcycle gift
We all know bikers who have 4,000 motorcycle tshirts and an alarming collection of Harley socks.
But how many bikers have gnomes in full leathers riding through their garden?
Biker gnomes are the perfect gift for the rider who’s impossible to buy for.
This guy even has an old-school chrome tank!
It’s pretty clear to me that our motorcycle-obsessed household needs a few biker gnomes.
How about you?
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