When it comes to motorcycle t-shirts you generally have 2 choices…
- “Bad-ass” designs that terrify old ladies and small children
- T-shirts with slogans so sexist they were surely designed for cavemen – not motorcyclists.
Neither option is that appealing.
In fact, I’m beginning to think that 95% of motorcycle t-shirts were made in the Ugly Forest.
Explains a lot, doesn’t it?
That’s why your motorcycle t-shirts are the most embarrassing things in your wardrobe (aside from those 80s concert t-shirts you can’t bring yourself to throw away).
Let’s take a closer look at why these biker t-shirts are really only fit to be worn while you’re changing the oil in your driveway.
The Secrets of Ugly Motorcycle T-Shirts
So WHY do a lot of motorcycle t-shirts make you cringe?
Just how do they do it?
- Super Bad-Ass Biker T-Shirts
I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to wear a t-shirt that joyfully predicts my own violent death.
Grinning skulls and macho declarations like Live Fast, Die Young don’t do it for me.
For a start, I want to live long enough to do another million miles on a motorcycle!
Oh, and by the way, I’m not 25 years old anymore.
It’s way too late for me to get excited about dying young.
- Biker T-Shirts That Make the Incredible Hulk Seem Sensitive
These kinds of motorcycle t-shirts rely on ugly words over gross designs.
They’re so appalling that they can make me laugh out loud in sheer amazement.
You’ve seen these biker t-shirts around – they have slogans like:
SIT DOWN, SHUT UP, HANG ON
And my personal favorite:
IF YOU CAN READ THIS, MY BITCH FELL OFF
That’s a particularly good one.
If your “bitch” fell off, buddy, that means you probably did a wheelie at the traffic lights.
And she’s probably in hospital now as a result.
You’d better get a t-shirt to capture that moment, huh?
What if Motorcycle T-Shirts Just Reflected Your Passion for Bikes?
What a shocking concept.
But I’ve had enough of forking out $50 for motorcycle t-shirts that are too awful to actually wear in public.
So I’m staying far, far away from any motorcycle shirts with ‘Made in the Ugly Forest’ labels.
But I’m not just whining about it – I’ve actually come up with a real alternative…
They talk about why riding a motorcycle is the best thing in the world.
And don’t look now, but:
- There are no skulls in sight
- They don’t claim that being dead would be awesome, and
- There’s no mention of women being annoying “bitches”.
These biker t-shirts have never been anywhere near the Ugly Forest.
They definitely weren’t made there.
Check out the new collection of Pillioness Motorcycle T-Shirts here.
I’d love to hear what you think!