If your wife hates motorcycles (and you love them), arguments happen every day.
Every time you head out for a ride, you get the stinkeye.
When you even mention bikes, she snorts like a rhino.
And whenever you buy another Totally Essential motorcycle part, she hits the roof!
This is a HUGE problem.
Because you’re not about to give up motorcycles.
And you can’t afford a divorce.
So what can you do?
When your wife hates motorcycles, you need a plan. The best way to start is to find out what her main objection is, and work on that. She might think motorcycles are too dangerous, or just plain boring. Or she might be jealous of the time, money and attention you lavish on your motorcycle.
Your wife hates motorcycles for a reason.
The key is to find out what that reason is, and try to address it.
If you’re feeling brave, you could try asking her directly.
But be careful.
WHAT THE HELL IS YOUR PROBLEM ANYWAY? Is not a productive way to start the conversation.
There’s a better way.
I’m about to walk you through the 4 most common reasons women hate motorcycles.
Choose the one that most likely applies to your situation, and take it from there…
Why Your Wife Hates Your Motorcycle: The Four Most Common Reasons
Let’s break this down…
1. Motorcycles are dangerous
The danger factor is likely the number one reason your wife hates motorcycles.
Does your wife call your bike a “death trap”?
Does she freak out every time there’s a bike accident on the news?
She’s very focused on the negative, dangerous aspect of motorcycles.
It sounds like straight-up disapproval and criticism, doesn’t it?
But chances are there’s something else going on.
In fact, your wife is probably scared for you, and doesn’t know how to talk about it.
She’s actually terrified that you’ll get hurt (or worse).
She’s worried sick every time you go out on the bike.
But you don’t seem to care that she’s worried out of her mind.
So now she’s angry too.
Yep, it’s a big old mess, alright.
Here’s what to do…
Don’t say: Oh, would you stop worrying! I’ll be fine!
Try a gentler approach.
Tell her you agree that bikes can be dangerous (and so are cars, for that matter).
But explain to her that you ride with safety in mind.
Go through all the things you do to make sure you come home safe to her.
I bet these are things she doesn’t even know about.
- Learning from past mistakes and riding smarter than you ever have.
- Pausing for a few extra seconds at intersections and traffic lights to check for crazy car driver behavior.
- Wearing full safety gear to protect every part of you.
- Making sure your bike is mechanically sound (including the brakes), and
- Riding to the road conditions and weather.
So start by admitting that you know bikes can be dangerous.
And that’s why every single riding decision is made with that fact in the front of your mind.
You don’t want to worry her; and you’re doing all you can to be as safe as possible.
Your wife may have never heard you talk like this.
She thought you hadn’t even noticed that she goes nuts with worry every time you pull out of the driveway.
2. Motorcycles are boring
Some women simply don’t “get” the irresistible, magnetic pull of motorcycles.
While you stop and stare at a beautiful bike on the street, your wife rolls her eyes.
She just can’t see what all the fuss is about.
So I wonder: have you ever tried to explain why you love motorcycles?
Find a quiet moment.
Ask your wife if you can talk to her for a minute.
Sit her down and PATIENTLY, GENTLY tell her why motorcycles mean so much to you.
Your passion is not random.
There’s always a reason for it.
It could be because:
- Your dad or grandad (or grandma!) had motorcycles and you have wonderful memories of weekends in the garage.
- You had a life-changing moment when you got your first bike.
- They give you a sense of freedom and adventure that’s essential to balance out the daily grind, or simply that…
- Motorcycles are beautiful metal sculptures that you can ride.
Your wife doesn’t have to suddenly fall in love with bikes.
But if she starts to understand why they mean so much to you, she may just hate motorcycles a little less.
3. Motorcycles are The Other Woman
Your wife might hate your motorcycle because she’s jealous.
She’s noticed the amount of time, attention and money you lavish onto your motorcycle.
Maybe she wants to spend more than five minutes with you this Saturday – before you head out on an all-day ride.
If you spend more time with your bike than your wife, of course she’s going to resent it.
So show her that you haven’t replaced her with the beautiful machine in the garage.
It’s so easy to make a romantic gesture:
- Flowers work, 100% of the time.
- Bring home her favorite takeout so no-one has to cook.
- Buy her something that supports her hobby or her job.
- Take her out to lunch on the weekend (and don’t keep looking at pictures of your bike on your phone).
- Go to a movie she wants to see on the big screen.
- Pick her up from her hairdresser appointment – and tell her she looks gorgeous.
None of this stuff is hard.
By making an effort now and then, you remind your wife she’s important to you.
After all, a motorcycle can fly you down the highway, but it can’t keep you warm at night.
It can’t laugh at your jokes.
It can’t talk you off the roof after a bad day at work.
Or bother to cook your favorite dinner.
4. Motorcycles are for men-only
It’s also possible that your motorcycle obsession makes your wife feel shut out of an exclusive club.
She’s not a member.
She doesn’t get the rituals.
She doesn’t speak the language of motorcycles.
She may see your garage as part of a world that totally excludes her.
There’s an easy way to fix this.
Invite her into the world of motorcycles.
Make her feel welcome, and wanted.
It’s easy to involve your wife in some motorcycle activities.
- Ask her to ride with you!
Take her on a motorcycle ride in the sunshine.
Make sure you end up somewhere romantic for lunch.
- Set up the motorcycle for her comfort
A passenger backrest and a sheepskin on the seat make the bike more comfortable for her.
Show her that you’re making an effort to make the bike female-friendly.
- Take her shopping for her own safety gear
There’s a big difference between pulling on the mouldy smelling XXL spare jacket from the shed, and having your own beautiful new leather jacket.
It really helps with the buy-in, believe me.
- Help her choose a motorcycle t-shirt that she actually likes, in her size
Your wife will feel more comfortable in motorcycle clothes that reflect her own style and taste.
It’s not helpful to buy her a trashy t-shirt ripped to the navel and expect her to be happy in it.
- Take her to a well organized motorcycle show
A professional bike show is no different from going to an art gallery.
(Well, it’s more fun, that’s for sure.)
Show your wife around, and point out the cool bikes.
Stop for coffee. Ask her which motorcycles she likes.
Have a conversation about bikes that she’s a part of.
Oh, by the way, this approach doesn’t work if you ignore her while you talk to a bike dealer.
And then chat to some guys you know for the next three hours.
You’re about to have a very shouty reunion later in the parking lot.
You’ve just undone all your good work.
- Watch The World’s Fastest Indian together
Who could resist Anthony Hopkins playing Burt Munro, the eccentric Kiwi biker who builds his own motorcycle in a little garage at the bottom of the world?
By the time he gets from New Zealand to the Bonneville Salt Flats, and sets a world speed record, your wife will love him.
This is such a feel-good movie, it’s halfway to being a chick flick anyway.
So these are the 4 most likely reasons your wife hates motorcycles.
And now you get that she’s probably not just being difficult.
She has what she sees as a fair reason to hate motorcycles.
And now that you know what her reason is, you can address it.
With some patience and a little open communication, you just might find that your wife stops hating motorcycles.
She may even come to accept their major role in your life.
You might never have to sleep out in the garage again!
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