Biker life will draw you in, little by little.
It begins when the motorcycle bug first sinks his pointy little teeth into you.
You’ll feel a twinge, and then a growing itchiness.
And slowly but surely, motorcycles start taking up a lot of your attention.
Until suddenly, it’s completely normal to think about motorcycles almost all the time.
You may well be living the biker life.
But how will you know for sure?
It’s easy to tell if you’re living the biker life.
You don’t need to be covered in tattoos or join a bikie gang to prove it.
Motorcycle life is way more subtle than that.
If you spend a lot of time, money and attention on your motorcycle, that’s one sure sign.
But there are many others…
Let’s take a look at some of the common signs of motorcycle life.
Biker Life: The 10 Symptoms to Watch For
1. Motorcycles are not confined to the garage
You know you’re living the biker life when motorcycle bits and pieces start appearing in the house.
We have a Norton kickstart on our kitchen bench, for example.
It’s been there for about 4 years now, so I guess we’re calling that an ornament.
We have a few motorcycle tin signs attached to the living room wall like paintings.
I think these are sold as garage décor.
But they work in the house too.
So even while you’re having dinner, you can pretend you’re still in the garage.
Then there’s our habit of cleaning motorcycle parts in the house instead of the driveway.
I often wash our Triumph Thunderbird’s insect-splattered screen in the shower.
It’s just easier.
And of course, there’s always a motorcycle in our living room.
It’s been a tradition so long now that our friends have stopped mentioning it.
They understand it’s pretty standard around here.
So if you bring motorcycle stuff indoors too, you could well be living the biker life.
It’s not mess – it’s motorcycles, right?
2. Mysterious motorcycle related charges show up on your credit card bill
When you’re living the biker life, motorcycle parts and accessories become essential (and regular) purchases.
You’ll often find you have an urgent need for a prettier set of motorcycle mirrors.
Or one of the motorcycle gear stores you “accidentally” subscribed to via email is having a flash sale on leather gloves.
It’s 20% off!
You’d be crazy NOT to get a backup pair.
While you’re there, you may as well click the Jackets link and see if any of those babies are on sale too…
3. Your bathroom sink often features garage related dirt
There was a time when I’d put the gritty garage hand scrub away under the sink.
After all, it’s ugly.
It’s bright orange.
It clashes with my beautiful purple bathroom walls.
We don’t need it every single day, surely?
Well, turns out we probably do.
We spend a lot of time in the garage, and not just on a Saturday afternoon.
It’s just too annoying groping around under the sink in the bathroom with greasy hands.
May as well leave it out on display next to the normal hand soap, right?
Because biker life often involves a little dirt and grease.
4. You recognise your friends by the sounds of their motorcycles
It always makes me laugh when we’re sitting at the kitchen table (next to the Triumph Scrambler, of course) drinking tea on a Saturday afternoon.
We hear a motorcycle roaring in the distance.
It gets closer and closer.
We stop talking, and start listening to the notes of the engine.
Oh, that’ll be Clive on his Buell, we’ll say.
Or: That sounds like Ken’s Triumph Bonneville.
We’re usually right.
It’s a spooky skill specific to motorcycle people.
You know who’s coming to visit before your guests arrive.
This is an unexpected benefit of the biker life.
You get to be a psychic without needing a crystal ball.
All you need is a tuned ear.
5. You have quite a lot of leather clothing
If you’re living the biker life, obviously you’re spending a lot of time riding motorcycles.
So you’re going to need a leather jacket.
And possibly leather pants, too.
It’s an investment in your safety.
It definitely doesn’t count as shopping.
And if it happens to look good, well, that’s hardly your fault, right?
6. You always look for an excuse to take the motorcycle, not the car
If you’re deep in the biker lifestyle, you only get in the car as a last resort.
Maybe the cupboards are bare, and it’s time for a major grocery re-stock.
Or maybe there’s so much ice all over the road, you’re willing to admit that riding is a stupid idea today.
But more often, if you need to go somewhere, you’ll take the motorcycle.
There are a million reasons why – if anyone dares to ask.
- It’s a beautiful day
- It’s only raining a little
- Parking is much easier on a motorcycle
- You need to see how the motorcycle’s new seat feels
- The new tire needs to be scrubbed in, and
- It’s not THAT cold.
… And so on.
If there’s a way to take the motorcycle, you’ll find it.
7. You rely on motorcycle therapy
Anyone who owns a motorcycle knows that a ride is the best way to fix most of your problems.
Roaring through the world, the sense of freedom overtakes you.
All those negative emotions are left behind you in the dirt where they belong.
By the time you get home again, you’re grinning like a maniac and all the stupid Stuff that got you down in the first place no longer matters.
So if motorcycle therapy makes you insanely happy, you’re living the biker life for sure.
8. More than half your personal emails are motorcycle related
Naturally you’ve signed up for updates to several motorcycle websites.
(Don’t forget you can sign up at the top of the page to get updates from Pillioness too!)
You’ve gotta stay informed about what’s happening in the bike scene, right?
You’ve probably also subscribed to a few motorcycle gear and accessories stores too.
That’s perfectly sensible, because motorcycle gear can be expensive.
This way, you can be sure you’re getting a bargain.
(But that only works if you actually wait for things to go on sale, you know.)
And of course you need to know about the latest motorcycles for sale.
So no doubt you get emails from your local motorcycle auction sites as well.
What if there’s a motorcycle for sale that you really REALLY need?
You can’t miss that!
So if a big chunk of your emails are motorcycle-related, chances are you’re roughly neck deep in the biker life.
9. The grass in your back yard is a meter high
When Saturday morning dawns bright and sunny, you have to make a choice.
Mow the lawn, or go for a motorcycle ride.
Doesn’t take very long to make this difficult decision, does it?
Probably less than a second.
So you pull on your gear, and roar out of the driveway with a big smile.
And the grass grows another few inches while you’re away.
But who cares?
You’re busy living the biker life.
10. You make snap judgements about people based on what they ride
The biker lifestyle attracts all sorts.
And some of them are idiots.
Luckily, you can usually tell who the idiots are pretty quickly, through the secret language of motorcycles.
You know the guy with all the extra bling on his bike and 100 plug-in accessories is trying too hard.
The paint job on his motorcycle is kind of embarrassing.
He’s wearing branded motorcycle gear from top to toe.
His helmet sparkles and is suspiciously clean.
There’s no sign of bug splatter anywhere at all.
A conversation with him will likely be super annoying, right?
He’ll know everything about everything, with about 10 minutes of experience.
Because by now, you’ve met bikers from all walks of life.
You know how to spot a moron at 20 paces.
OK yes, you may be judging people based on first impressions.
But your motorcycle says everything about you.
And you speak the language – fluently.
So you can probably trust your judgement at this point.
Biker Life Comes With a Set of Symptoms
But it’s not an illness.
In fact, it’s the cure – for pretty much everything.
When motorcycles are your passion, then living the biker life makes every day better.
It makes you happy.
It’s not hurting anyone.
Enjoy every minute of it!
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