Biker panties…
It’s a phrase that conjures up some vivid mental pictures, right?
Maybe a leather thong, or a little wisp of black lace.
Sure, that’d be perfect for the biker chick vixens you see online, and in movies.
They drape themselves across shiny clean motorcycles in the skimpiest lingerie, long fake lashes fluttering.
They look like they might be trying out for the adult film industry, or wishing they got into Playboy when they had the chance.
Back in the real world, a leather thong is a terrible idea for motorcycle underwear.
If you wear something THAT uncomfortable under your riding jeans, you’ll be miserable the whole trip.
You’ll also constantly have your hand inside the back of your jeans, trying to stop that pesky piece of elastic from riding up and cutting into your delicate parts.
Now personally, I don’t think I’ve ever been mistaken for a lady.
It could have something to do with my lifelong authority issues and my pretty damn impressive vocabulary of swear words.
But even so, digging around in my jeans trying to get my underpants under control is a step too far.
Even for me.
How do you choose the right biker panties? That’s easy.
Motorcycle underwear has to combine comfort and style.
This is the first layer of your motorcycle gear, so getting it right will make for a more relaxed and comfortable motorcycle ride. Would you rather focus on too-tight panties, or where you’re going to stop for lunch?
So what underwear for motorcycle riding DOES work?
Do we need to run so far away from the leather thong department that we end up smack bang in the dreaded granny panties section?
Should we choose some gigantic pastel baggy monstrosities that we can’t pull on without laughing in horror?
No, that’s not necessary either.
When it comes to motorcycle underwear, there’s a very comfortable middle ground we need to aim for.
And comfort is the key word here.
Because if you’re feeling comfortable, that means you can relax and enjoy the ride.
Would you rather smile at the scenery, or have to keep fiddling with your high-maintenance motorcycle underpants?
There are a lot of ways to be more comfortable on a motorcycle.
And your motorcycle underwear is a good place to start.
But first, let’s talk about the kind of motorcycle panties you should avoid at all costs.
Biker Panties: What NOT to Wear
OK, so what kind of motorcycle underwear should NEVER grace your nether regions?
These are what we might call the biker panties from hell.
Here are a few options you need to run a mile from:
- Anything in leather or leather-like finish
(Leather goes on the outside – like your motorcycle jacket) - Stretch lace underwear
(They look pretty, but they’re scratchy and irritating) - Panties that are a size too small
(They’ll be digging into your curves the whole ride) - Nylon or synthetic underpants
(They don’t let the air circulate) - Any kind of sculpting, shapewear type of underpants
(Good luck even trying to throw your leg over the seat in these restrictive Victorian torture devices).
Of course, there’s nothing wrong with packing some pretty underwear if you’re going on a motorcycle road trip.
You could put them on when you’re changing to go out for dinner.
But you still wouldn’t wear any high-maintenance underwear on the bike.
You don’t want to be cut in half by tight lace or leather while sitting on a motorcycle seat for 8 hours.
So what SHOULD you be looking for in motorcycle underwear?
Good question.
Let’s talk about that next.
Biker Panties That Will Make You Smile (Not Squirm)
There are 5 things to look for when it comes to comfortable motorcycle underwear.
1. Get biker panties in breathable fabric
100% cotton is ideal.
It’s absorbent on a hot day, and it breathes and moves with your body.
The less synthetic content you have in your biker panties, the better.
2. Buy the right size of biker panties
I know, we all try to fool ourselves that we take a size smaller than we really do.
But the truth quickly reveals itself when it comes to underpants, doesn’t it?
Because wearing biker panties that are a size too small is super uncomfortable.
So get some that fit just right, and don’t threaten to cut off the blood supply to your thighs.
Now, you don’t want too-small biker panties.
But you don’t want some that are too big either.
They’ll sag and bag, and you’ll have to keep pulling them up.
Once again, fumbling around inside your riding jeans is not an awesome look.
3. Add some color to your biker panties!
I’m betting that most of the motorcycle gear you’re wearing will be black, right?
Or at least dark colors.
Most motorcycle gear comes in basic black.
So why not go crazy with some color in the underpants department?
And sure, we’re being practical here.
But that doesn’t mean you have to go with boring white bloomers.
Or the kind of simple floral design you’ve been wearing since you were 5.
It’s OK to go for a splash of bright color.
A pair of red or pink panties are a great choice.
Or electric blue, banana yellow, emerald green, a deep, rich purple – pick a color that makes you happy.
Motorcycles are all about fun, right?
4. Get biker panties in your favorite style
Do you prefer full briefs, hipster briefs or bikini briefs?
Maybe the boy leg cut is more your thing.
You already know which underpants feel best on you, and suit your body shape.
That’s the style to choose for a motorcycle ride – the tried and true cut that sits comfortably under your clothes.
As long as it’s not a thong, remember?
5. Get motorcycle panties with a bike theme
A couple years ago I was out shopping, and found some panties with little motorcycles printed on them.
Ooooh! I squealed right there in the store.
Other shoppers avoided making eye contact as I held them up and giggled in delight.
I should’ve bought 6 pairs!
It’s really fun wearing motorcycle themed biker panties when you’re out on the bike.
If you can’t find any with actual motorcycles on them, look for some motorcycle themed alternatives.
Here are a few ideas:
- Black and silver/grey (like the chrome on the motorcycle)
- A color scheme that matches the motorcycle tank
- Flames (just in case the motorcycle goes fast)
- Skulls (if you can find any designs that are even slightly pretty)
- Animal print or an animal face (motorcycles are all about the call of the wild)
- Beard and moustache motifs (we all love biker beards, right?)
- The flag of the country that made your motorcycle.
Use your imagination, and link your motorcycle underwear to the bike you’ll be riding.
Or the fun, freedom and unbridled joy that motorcycles bring.
Biker Panties Can Be Practical AND Pretty
Underwear for motorcycle riding HAS to be comfortable.
That’s the number one factor to consider.
But close behind is a sense of style.
You don’t have to hide ugly granny panties under your riding jeans.
Choose biker panties in the right cut for your body type, and in your favorite color.
If your motorcycle underwear fits just right and is fire engine red, bright blue like the motorcycle tank or maybe covered in orange flames, the only thing left to worry about is where to stop for lunch.
Like this article?
Then you might also be interested in:
How to Feel More Confident on a Motorcycle (10 Tips for Passengers)
